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Friday Flow ~ Shout Out To Dad!

I was writing the title to this post and it took me forever to come up with the tag line. It’s always Friday Flow…but what next?

My week has kinda been like that – not sure what’s coming next. That would explain why it’s nearly 7 PM I got a lengthy to-do list ahead of me and I’m just gettin’ to ya’ll.  I was so close to skippin’ the weekly shout out! You know what? No! Ya I got a lot of soul food on my plate but that ain’t no reason to give up on what’s really important to me. When you respond to my email and comment on my blog it makes me happy. You are important to me. So is my man, my dad, and my birth father and Sunday if Father’s day…so I write!

My man is on his way to a BBQ with our kids and I skipped out. He got mad, I got mad…it happens. I’ve got to plan something special for Sunday. Who got something up their sleeve for me? Love that Man.

My birth father gives me my African Roots. The only thing is…he doesn’t know I exist, and I don’t know what part of Africa he is even from. Sigh…
It intrigues me that since I can remember my search for my birth family has primarily about finding my birth mother. I’m curious if that is because I am a woman and mother myself, or if it’s just human nature to need your mama. I want to talk to some guys out there who are searching for their birth family to see if they have a stronger desire to find their birth mother or birth father. Maybe it’s a gender thing. All I know is that I didn’t think too much about my birth father until I discovered that he gave me my beautiful brown skin. In my mind my birth mother was black not white. Of course it don’t make no difference to me, I just had to wrap my head around the fact that this image I held was totally off. It hurt a little. I felt like I should have intuitively known what she would look like…Ha! A girl’s beliefs can really shape her reality!  Got to keep those beliefs in check you know? What are some of your limiting beliefs about your family? Shout out to my Guyanese, Bangladeshi & African birth dad…wherever you are!

Dad ~ Military Style circa 1968

Now for my pops! He’s a real Genius. Seriously he’s like PHD in Nuclear Physics smart. He can recall anything he has ever read. He loves facts and he’s a pretty funny guy too! I’ve been sharing this journey to my finding my birth family with him too. I told him that I was excited to find out I had some East Indian blood in me. The information I do have about my birth father said he was born in Saran(Dutch Territory) and his racial origin was half Indian from a region in India called Lahar and half black. Well, my dad remembered an article he had read at some point about the migration of the Lahiri Indians a long time ago. I thought…well that’s all well and good, but my birth father was from India!

 Dad & Me with my first born Nesta. 2004

Two days later I got an email from my dad that included more information than I would have put in a college essay about the origin, history and migration of the Lahiri! Here’s the Tanya Malcolm cut and paste version…

“It seems that Lahar was an Afghan tribal name. During the great population migrations after the British Raj, they migrated into what became East and West Paksitan. In East Pakistan, now Bangladesh, they became known as Lahiri. They originated in Afghanistan and then moved to East Pakistan where they identified themselves as Lahiri instead of Lahari. His birthplace is Saran, which is in Bangladesh, which would be appropriate for a Lahiri.”

The only part that confuses me is the Dutch Territory bit. I just emailed my Dad and asked him if the Saran in Bangladesh could be Dutch Territory. I’m sure we’ll have it all cleared up by next Friday! My dad…a real scholarly gem! Love ya Dad! Happy Father’s Day.

What do ya’ll have to say about the men in your life. The BF’s, Husbands, Soul mates, Father of Your Children and of course your own Pop? Give ’em a shout out in the comments below…and don’t forget I need ideas for Sunday & your limiting beliefs about your family. Let those go and LOVE your clan!

Shine on ya’ll!