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Fully Completely

I was thinking about what to write about first and the word ‘full’ came into my mind. Then I started to feel full and thought I should title this post ‘Full Up.’ I was really happy with myself, smiling and nodding my head thinking ‘completely…’ Then I thought of The Tragically Hip, so now I’m listening to some Hip, feeling proud of myself, fully completely.
I’m full because I’m busy and I’m complete because life is a blessing. I met a very special soul yesterday. A little baby boy that made me feel complete gratitude. I felt so peaceful inside, but at the same time I had so much joy. It was pure bliss.  After all my blissing right out I began to reflect and I discovered that I’m going to work on part of my character that I haven’t given much thought to in the past…resilience.
I applied to Mt. Royal University’s Midwifery program, and felt really good about my application, only to find out that my high school grades aren’t high enough. That information is so irrelevant to the student I am now. Then I was thinking positively and I figured that many of the applicants to the program have just graduated from high school and my transcript was being compared to those transcripts. Now that was a big AH HA moment. So I’m upgrading my high school Biology & Chemistry through the adult education program at the College of the Rockies. Reading science textbooks is not that much fun. It takes me so long to finish a chapter because my mind wanders and I start thinking about “birth at a cellular level” and I can get into some really deep thoughts about the absurdness of the fact that women don’t trust their bodies’ own cells.  Our cells do EVERYTHING.  Big sigh. So you see why actually learning the science has been time consuming. I’m big into time management right now. Setting goals. Setting long term goals has been the focus, and I know that I have to start bringing it all down to a daily basis, but I’m just not quite there yet. These days focusing on midwifery has been  really important to me. I have this image of myself when I’m a granny midwife telling birth stories about amazing mothers and babies and what I learned from them. I’m becoming her day by day. I have so much support from my midwifery reading groups and classmates in Gloria Lemay’s online lectures. Every pregnant women on the planet and her midwives should be learning from this woman. Elle est une sage femme.
I’m networking with Vicki Brown at Soul Haven Day Retreat. I’m very excited to be connected to such a beautiful and inspiring sister. My upcoming schedule of classes and events will be available soon. My doula work has been slow because I need time to spend energy on other areas of my birth work. I’m so happy and over flowing with anticipation about a birth happening very soon, and to meet a new couple this week. I hope I can continue to attend births while I pursue all my dreams. It’s so satisfying for me. It’s my life work.Thank goodness I gave birth, and found this path.
I gave birth in May. My baby turns four on the tenth, which is a complete wonder for me. Wow. May is also International Doula Month and International Day of the Midwife! It’s Mother’s Day too! Oh! and let’s not forget Cinco de Mayo. It sounds like I need to start planning an event in celebration of all this motherly action!
As I’m finishing up this post I’m now listening to Ani Difranco. Angry Anymore started playing and I felt sad, and I was think about my sister. I miss her. So I posted the song to her Facebook page and I saw a post from Karen Brody that said “What does ‘sacred birth’ mean to you.  My fingers intuitively started typing and I answered “when I’m holding her space with her…that feeling.”