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Postpartum Support: 6 Weeks Rest No Less

Happy New Year! I’m feeling powerful about the upcoming year. I have a strong feeling that this is the year I’m going to meet my birth mother. It has been such a long journey…my search for her. But this journey is what got me here, writing to you. It was my need to create for myself a sisterhood and discover my ancestral roots that allowed me to connect and start a conversation with all of you! Some days I feel frustrated that I still haven’t found her, and then I try to find the light, you know, stay positive. That’s when I think of all of you, my virtual tribe.

Thank you for all your support, wisdom and sisterhood.

I was separated from my birth mother to be put up for adoption when I was two months old.  The past month has been emotional for me. Ive been staring into my two month old daughter’s eyes and imagining giving her away.  Imagining me, so small and vulnerable, detached from my mother. I must have been really scared. This is the third time I’ve processed these intense emotions. With each baby I mourn for my infant self. It’s sad, but I’m also happy to connect with that energy. In some ways it brings me closer to her. My birth mother. I feel like this postpartum time is all about processing big feelings, coping with big transitions, and really getting down and dirty with my authentic self. My Soulful Mama.

I’m right in it now. Postpartum. I’ve been calling it my Postpartum Groove. I feel like I’m dancing through my days, sometimes literally. Can you say “Dance Break!?” The thing is, sometimes the soundtrack of this dance party is really fly, and other times I can’t find my rhythm and I’m really not feelin’ the vibe at all.  Sometimes I cry. Then, after a while, I smile or laugh and I thank God for my ability to step outside the storm that’s going on in my head once in a while.  I can just turn my back on my inner critic. “Talk to the hand!”

It’s all about support. It takes strength to diss your inner critic! It’s not easy to 3 snap your way outta a pity party. You need power to recognize a storm front of negative thoughts rolling in and forming a cloud of emotional turmoil! I get my energy from my self care practice and by organizing postpartum support for myself.

You read about it lots. The importance of postpartum support. All the books say REST REST REST. Six weeks no less! It’s in all the books. But those are just words, in a sentence, in a book. Here…read it again. You’ll need to rest for six weeks or longer after you have your baby. Let me tell you something…six weeks is a really long time to rest!! I tell you, I was planning my babymoon before I was planning my birth! And still I was ready to get out there and show off my sweet baby by three weeks time.  I was restless. My body however, it was speaking a different word. My body was tired. I was so happy that I had planned to rest for six weeks. The key word there is planned. Six weeks of postpartum support takes a lot of planning.

Postpartum Support

You have to build that! If you build it they will come. They’ll come with meals, and groceries, and cleaning supplies and loving hands to hold babies, and laundry baskets. Whatever you ask for you can receive. Talk to your family and friends while you’re pregnant. Hire a postpartum doula. Make sure your partner is supportive.  My man was essential to my Postpartum Groove. He recognized my needs before I knew them. He took care of everything that we usually share responsibility for.  My only role was to take care of myself and bond with our daughter. It was like magic. And magically my energy was sustained, my ability to recognize emotional ups and downs was strong.  The music is happenin’ nearly all the time now. It’s been nearly three months since the free birth of my daughter.   Like I said  earlier I’m right in it now. I’m past the really intense days, but my Postpartum Groove is still on. My new mama message to you today? Build it. Six weeks rest. No less.